Meeting new people and making new friends was quite difficult. I had a hard time developing adequate social skills moving from place to place like I had.

To make matters worse, each school had a different curriculum. I had no foundation for what the school was teaching. Talk about feeling inadequate!

The feelings of inadequacy and not being able to perform was pervasive at the core of my being. I was afraid to try for fear of failure or being ridiculed.

In my early teen years, I got to the point where I would deliberately harm my own body. I would pinch my lip for example, or continue to crack my elbow (like cracking your knuckles on your hand). For some morbid way it felt good.

The pain would bring a momentary sense of calm and release the tension. This was an unhealthy way of coping with the emotional pain, frustration and anger that I had felt.

In the book of Numbers there is a story of the 12 spies. These spies were sent into the promised land, to see if it was as good as it was hyped up to be.

Sure enough it was. But, what had happened was 10 of the spies saw the impossibility of taking the land. Whereas only 2 saw that it was possible to take possession.

The 10 had a grass hopper mentality. This can be devastating. But you know it’s almost human nature to think in the negative. Instead of thinking of the possibilities, more often than not we think on the impossibilities.

This is what the 10 spies thought:

1. The people in the land were to strong for us to overcome.
2. The cities were very large and fortified, we cannot take possession.
3. The land was inhabited by:
   • Anakites – these were giants. The 10 spies felt like grasshoppers in their own sight.
   • Amaelikites
   • Hittites
   • Jebusites
   • Amorites
   • Caananites
4. We are not able to go up against the people.

Let’s compare and contrast that to how Caleb and Joshua thought:

1. Let’s go up and take possession of it at once.
2. We are well able to overcome it.
3. If the Lord delights in us then He will bring us into the land.
4. Do not rebel against the Lord.
5. Do not fear the people of the land for they are bread for us (in today’s vernacular we would say “it’s a piece of cake”).
6. Their protection is gone from them.
7. The Lord is with us.

As I’ve grown into adulthood I’ve overcome many fears. Some still badger me. At times I have fears creep up that seem to be hard to overcome. But I have a choice as do you.

Will I see the impossibilities as the ten spies? Or will I see the possibilities? The choice is mine.

I remind myself often what His word says, that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. If God be for me who can be against me.

In Christ this activity will be a piece of cake because He is with me. As I focus this way, my confidence grows. Impossibilities have a way of becoming possibilities in Him.